Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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