a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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