we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
