I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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