Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
