Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
