we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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