Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
