sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
