Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
