Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
