she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
