FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
