I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
