So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize