Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
