i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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