I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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