you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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