He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
