How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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