Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize