my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
