i permit you to call me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize