No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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