Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
