i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
