My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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