Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
