I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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