I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
