I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
