no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
