I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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