My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
