nut hugger
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
