yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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