chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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