i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
