it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
