im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
