I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
