Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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