i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
