Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
