Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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