so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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