I'm jealous of your bromance
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
