he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
