I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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