woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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