Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
