oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
