smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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