ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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