I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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