So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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