I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
