Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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