I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
