Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
