my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
