I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
