I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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